Friday, January 25, 2013


it's inevitable, right?  just look at how much the world has changed over the centuries. first off, i should explain the photo. this is today's lunch, deli chicken, hot sauce, asparagus, all wrapped up in several leaves of romaine lettuce. i wish i was a yogurt and carrot sticks kinda girl, but i've tried that and i'm just not.   i've discussed my desire to eat as healthy as i can. 8 years ago, this would be a sandwich complete with 2 slices of bread, a slice of cheese, and heaping smear of mayonnaise.  cutting back and eliminating these things has helped me to better manage my weight.  one thing i can't seem to explain is my recent crush on all things spicy, i'm always adding dashes of hot sauce or siracha sauce to my food. i'm not quite to the point of eating pickled jalapenos from a jar, but i don't mind them so much in cheese dip like i used too. i just don't get it, but i'm sure there is something in these condiments that my body is craving, so i'm just going with it.  this whole idea of food changes got me to thinking about how much i've changed in the last 25 years.  i'm not so sure that the changes are evident to others, but i'd like to hope so.  dealing with some childhood/young adult issues has caused me to do a lot of soul searching and re-evaluation of who i am, and who i am going to be.  this may be a little melodramatic, but while we are all cut from the same fabric of humanity, we are all very different and unique in our responses and attitudes.  sometimes those responses and attitudes are not always the right ones, and in order to fix that you have to be willing to make changes within yourself.  this, i have to say has not been easy, but i am sorta seeing the rewards in taking this approach.  it is also important to surround yourself with those who understand this, and are really "there" for you as you evolve and change.    i've also learned that even though you accept those things/people you can't change, doesn't mean you allow those things to weigh you down with guilt, or change who you are and want to become.  you can establish boundaries and guidelines in a good and healthy way, this is something i'd wished i'd learned a long time ago.  it's like being selfish in a loving way which really sounds like an oxy-moron, but sometimes you have to be brutally honest and there are people who don't handle the truth very well. this whole idea goes along with my theme for 2013, and the idea of moving forward without looking back, and embracing what lies ahead.  aside from all this pondering, it is cold as all get out, and i've very glad to be inside where it is toasty with my wool cardigan and wool socks.

1 comment:

Mary said...

it's hard to be brutally honest with ourselves sometimes. I really admire you for the tough choices you're making (and talking about). and I think your lunch looks delicious (except minus the hot sauce...I like it when I eat it, but after that, it makes me unhappy!) xxoo - m.